i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Panties = found
Randomize
