I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
