nut hugger
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I want a musical about memes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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