What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
