I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i now understand why vodka
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
