Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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