..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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