So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
