i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
