my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Even my vagina gasped.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
