i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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