New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
being pregnant is like rehab
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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