And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
