I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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