She said her name was "party"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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