And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
