3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
