I'm really into asian looking animals
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize