just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
