nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
