im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
