ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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