So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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