yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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