Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
