would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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