so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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