i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
