So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The adults are the big ones right?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
