all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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