Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
