were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
