Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
