Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
