Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Jerry, you need to find god
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
my liver is dry heaving
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
