just come out here and I will go home with you...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
