You can't motorboat a personality
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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