BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
