I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
