We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
