Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
