She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
