my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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