I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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