Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
