That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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