And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize