I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
