it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
