Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
