We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
