The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
