I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
