Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Less talking, more tequila
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
