plz talk dirty to me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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