The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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