drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
