I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize