Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
