I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
