I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
